All Quotes By Tag: Humor

“Gabi to Marcus “I can’t believe out of one hundred thousand sperm, you were the fastest!”

“Kids. You gotta love them. I adore children. A little salt, a squeeze of lemon–perfect.”

“She would’ve been a good woman,” said The Misfit, “if it had been somebody there to shoot her every minute of her life.”

“It is one of those lessons that every child should learn: Don’t play with fire, sharp objects, or ancient artifacts.”

“Scientists talk about dark matter, the invisible, mysterious substance that occupies the space between stars. Dark matter makes up 99.99 percent of the universe, and they don’t know what it is. Well I do. It’s apathy. That’s the truth of it; pile together everything we know and care about in the universe and it will still be nothing more than a tiny speck in the middle of a vast black ocean of Who Gives a Fuck.”

“Room service? Send up a larger room.”[A Night at the Opera]”

“Be sure to lie to your kids about the benevolent, all-seeing Santa Claus. It will prepare them for an adulthood of believing in God.”

“Hell may have all the best composers, but heaven has all the best choreographers.”

“Are you an idiot, or an idiot?’ Gargarin hissed.’The first one. I really resent being called the second.”

“I love being a writer. What I can’t stand is the paperwork.”

“Evey Hammond: Who are you? V: Who? Who is but the form following the function of what and what I am is a man in a mask. Evey Hammond: Well I can see that. V: Of course you can. I’m not questioning your powers of observation I’m merely remarking upon the paradox of asking a masked man who he is”

“The miracle isn’t that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start.”

“You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.”

“Whitney Houston’s cover of “I Will Always Love You” was constantly on my FM Walkman radio around that time. I think that made me cry because I associated it with absolutely no one.”

“I like ducks.” Jem observed diplomatically. “Esspecially the ones in Hyde Park.” He glanced side ways at Will; both boys were sitting at the edge of a high table, thier legs dangling over the side. “Remember when you tried to convince me to feed pultry pie the the mallards in the park to see if you couls breed a race of cannibal ducks?””They ate it too,” Will reminisced. “Bloodthirsty little beasts. Never trust a duck.”