All Quotes By Tag: Humor

“How long have you been with Raphael?”“You ask a lot of questions for a dead woman.”“What can I say? I prefer to die well-informed.”

“Let me ask you a question Alex. What do you think is the greatest evil on this plant today?””Is that including, or not including you?”

“I had just heard tales that the Valkyrie were large warriors, akin to Amazons.”“If you’re the sole survivor of an army attacked by us, are you going to say we had our asses handed to us by petite, nubile females, or by she-monsters who can bench Buicks?”

“The reason for the unreason with which you treat my reason , so weakens my reason that with reason I complain of your beauty.”

“Everything here is edible; even I’m edible. But that, dear children, is cannibalism, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies.”

“The great Gaels of Ireland are the men that God made mad, For all their wars are merry, and all their songs are sad.”

“It is by the goodness of god that in our country we have those 3 unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.”

“I’m too young, too smart and too good-looking to die.”

“I feel ill,” [Howl] announced. “I’m going to bed, where I may die.”

“So it’s true what they say about warlocks, then?”Alec gave him a very unpleasant look. “What’s true?””Alexander,” said Magnus coldly, and Clary met Simon’s eyes across the table. Hers were wide, green, and full of an expression that said Uh-oh. “You can’t be rude to everyone who talks to me.”Alec made a wide, sweeping gesture. “And why not? Cramping your style, am I? I mean, maybe you were hoping to flirt with werewolf boy here. He’s pretty attractive, if you like the messy-haired, broad-shouldered, chiseled-good-looks type.””Hey, now,” said Jordan mildly. Magnus put his head in his hands. “Or there are plenty of pretty girls here, since apparently your taste goes both ways, Is there anything you aren’t into?””Mermaids,” said Magnus into his fingers. “They always smell like seaweed.””It’s not funny,” Alec said savagely, and kicking back his chair, he got up from the table and stalked off into the crowd.”

“Succotash my cocker spaniel, you fudging crevasse-hole dipshiitake!”

“I stood and walked around the desk so I could stand over him. Menacingly. Like Darth Vader, only with better lung capacity.”

“The trouble is you can shut your eyes but you can’t shut your mind.”

“Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.”

“Do you love him?”There were only a few people in the world who could ask me such insanely personal questions without getting punched. Dimitri was one of them.”