All Quotes By Tag: Humor
“Before I could figure out how to apologize for being such an idiot, she tackled me with a hug, then pulled away just as quickly. “I’m glad you’re not a guinea pig.””Me, too.” I hoped my face wasn’t as red as it felt.”
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“The idea of being strong for someone else having never entered their heads, I find myself in the position of having to console them. Since I’m the person going in to be slaughtered, this is somewhat annoying.”
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“Never knock on death’s door. Ring the doorbell then run. He totally hates that. – T-shirt”
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“Tell people there’s an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure.”
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“Many people, meeting Aziraphale for the first time, formed three impressions: that he was English, that he was intelligent, and that he was gayer than a treeful of monkeys on nitrous oxide.”
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“I said hello to the poodle.”
“Soap?””School of America in Paris” he explains. “SOAP”.Nice. My father sent me here to be cleansed.”
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“You know what the fellow said – in Italy, for thirty years under the Borgias, they had warfare, terror, murder and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland, they had brotherly love, they had five hundred years of democracy and peace – and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock.”
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“Bravo,” said Grimalkin, peering down from Cold Tom’s chest. “The Winter prince and Oberon’s jester agreeing on something. The world must be ending.”
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“If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have on your hands is a non-working cat.”
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“Astriola. That IS demon pox. You had evidence that demon pox existed and you didnt mention it to me! Et tu, Brute!’ He rolled up the paper and hit Jem over the head with it.”
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“When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.”
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“Invisible things are the only realities.”
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“You should try not to talk so much, friend. You’ll sound far less stupid that way.- Breeze”
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