All Quotes By Tag: Humor

“Look, did you ask me to come all the way uptown just so you could stare at me like I was something in a petri dish? Next time I’ll send you a photo.””And I’ll frame it and put it on my nightstand,” said Jace.”

“I know – I’ll play you for it,” Alice suggested. “Rock, paper, scissors.”Jasper chuckled and Edward sighed.”Why don’t you just tell me who wins?” Edward said wryly.Alice beamed. “I do. Excellent.”

“Yeah? Can you draw a skeleton riding a motorcycle with flames coming out of it? And I want a pirate hat on the skeleton. And a parrot on his shoulder. A skeleton parrot. Or maybe a ninja skeleton parrot? No, that would be overkill. But it’d be cool if the biker skeleton could be shooting some ninja throwing stars. That are on fire.”

“Curran looked back at me. “Why is it you always attract creeps?””You tell me.” Ha! Walked right into that one, yes, he did.”

“The human body is the best work of art.”

“Personally, I’m always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught.”

“When your mother asks, “Do you want a piece of advice?” it’s a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.”

“So much good, so much evil. Just add water.”

“In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra. ”

“I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up!”

“Can’t stay long, Mother,” he said. “I’m up front, the prefects have got two compartments to themselves-“”Oh, are you a prefect, Percy?” said one of the twins, with an air of great surprise. “You should have said something, we had no idea.””Hang on, I think I remember him saying something about it,” said the other twin. “Once-“”Or twice-“”A minute-“”All summer-“”Oh, shut up,” said Percy the Prefect.”

“Anyone can speak Troll. All you have to do is point and grunt.”

“I don’t deserve any credit for turning the other cheek as my tongue is always in it.”

“I mean, really. Who sends their kid to boarding school? It’s so Hogwarts. Only mine doesn’t have cute boy wizards or magic candy or flying lessons.”

“I have lightning and wind powers,” Jason reminded him. “Piper can turn beautiful and charm people into giving her BMWs. You’re no more a freak than we are. And, hey, maybe you can fly, too. Like jump off a building and yell ‘Flame on!'”Leo snorted. “If I did that, you would see a flaming kid falling to his death, and I would be yelling something a little stronger than ‘Flame on!”