All Quotes By Tag: Humor

“I had a dream about you. You were being hung. I had a sword in one hand and a stool in the other. I couldn’t decide which one to use, so I stood on the stool and threw myself on the sword. It was the least I could do to protest capital punishment.”

“I had a dream about you last night… You turned red, then green, and then blue. You told me you were trying to fit in with the m&m’s.”

“I had a dream about you last night… I was a brick and you were a blanket. Damn that improbability drive.”

“I had a dream about you last night.. You thought you were a candy vampire, you were standing in the sun screaming ‘I’m melting.”

“I don’t talk with everybody because i am not everybody, i am single.”

“For someone who is supposed to be a knight in shining armor, you’re acting like an ass in aluminum foil.”

“I had a dream about you last night. We were plug sockets in the bedroom. We saw only a short part of their day, but we knew everything of it.”

“Ain’t No Drama Like Bedroom Drama”

“I had a dream about you last night… you were there.”

“it’s as if the universe has a sense of humor, since at a deep level it’s impossible not to lead a spiritual life…the universe is living through you at this moment. with or without belief in god, the chain of events leading from silent awareness to physical reality remains intact.”

“God is even in a single parent household.”

“I had a dream about you last night. We stopped telling each other about our dreams when we realized we were still inside them.”

“Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted makeup.Forget the laughs, forget the fights, forget the sex, forget the jealousy. But take off your hat and observe a moment’s silence for the legions of unknown tubes of foundation, mascara, eyeliner, blusher and lipstick who died that it might all have been possible. But who died in vain.”

“The best defense is a confusing offense.”

“I didn’t dream about you last night. I woke up in fear.”