“My love is meatloaf flavored. I just wish my meatloaf was also meatloaf flavored.”

“I had a dream about you. You were an escalator, and I was a flight of stairs. You thought I was a Luddite, and I thought I was as ostrich, because I hadn’t figured out how to put the fly in flight. One day you broke down, and then you saw that you and I weren’t so different after all.”

“I’m a fake fact factory. The things I make are the things I make up. Also, as a side business, I make love. Actually, I just made that up.”

“My love is pizza shaped. Won’t you have a slice? It’s circular, so there’s enough to go around.
”