“You can learn more by going to the opera than you ever can by reading Emerson. Like that there are two sexes.”

“Love what is simple and beautiful. These are the essentials.”

“In 1881, being on a visit to Boston, my wife and I found ourselves in the Parker House with the Ingersoll’s, and went over to Charleston to hear him lecture. His subject was ‘Some Mistakes of Moses,’ and it was a memorable experience. Our lost leaders, — Emerson, Thoreau, Theodore Parker, — who had really spoken to disciples rather than to the nation, seemed to have contributed something to form this organ by which their voice could reach the people. Every variety of power was in this orator, — logic and poetry, humor and imagination, simplicity and dramatic art, moral and boundless sympathy. The wonderful power which Washington’s Attorney-general, Edmund Randolph, ascribed to Thomas Paine of insinuating his ideas equally into learned and unlearned had passed from Paine’s pen to Ingersoll’s tongue. The effect on the people was indescribable. The large theatre was crowded from pit to dome. The people were carried from plaudits of his argument to loud laughter at his humorous sentences, and his flexible voice carried the sympathies of the assembly with it, at times moving them to tears by his pathos.{Conway’s thoughts on the great Robert Ingersoll}”

“The selfish man suffers more from his selfishness than he from whom that selfishness withholds some important benefit.”

“Well,’ I said. ‘I could strip off my clothes and reveal to you that under my jeans and sweatshirt I’m actually wearing a tank top and short-shorts, much like Lara Croft from Tomb Raider…only mine are flame-retardant and covered in glow-in-the-dark dinosaur stickers.’No one stirred. Not even Christopher, who actually has a thing for Lara Croft. ‘I know what you’re thinking,’ I went on. ‘Glow-in-the-dark dinosaur stickers are so last year. But I think they add a certain je ne sais quoi to the whole ensemble. It’s true, short-shorts are uncomfortable under jeans and hard to get off in the ladies’ room, but they make the twin thigh-holsters in which I hold my high-caliber pistols so easy to get to….’The oven timer dinged. ‘Thank you, Em,’ Mr. Greer said, yawning. ‘That was very persuasive.”