All Quotes By Tag: Humor

“I have never heard a lady say ‘arse,'” the emperor said mildly.”I haven’t been a lady for long,” I reminded him. A little demon–made of exhaustion and the emperors smile– pushed me into adding,”For five years I’ve been saying ‘arse.’ It’s hard to stop saying ‘arse’ after that many years. I suppose I should stop saying ‘arse,’ since ladies don’t say-“”‘Arse’,” he finished for me. I met his grin.”

“You can’t know, sweetie, because you’ve never had a baby become a brilliant young reader with a side interest in horrible television shows, but the joy you bring us is so much greater than the sadness we feel about your illness.”

“Oliver laughed – actually laughed.”I like this new Claire,” he said. “You should work her this hard all the time, Myrnin. She’s interesting when she’s forthright.”Claire, possessed by the spirit of Eve, shot him the finger. Which made him laugh again, shake his head, and walk up the steps.”

“One time I actually cleaned out my closet so good I ended up on the cover of Time magazine.”

“Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.”

“Claire was struggling through last summer’s diary volume when Myrnin popped in through the portal, wearing a big floppy black hat and a kind of crazy/stylish pimp coat that covered him from neck to ankles, black leather gloves, and a black and silver walking stick with a dragon’s head on it. And, on his lapel was a button that said, If you can read this, thank a teacher.”

“Don’t run I never liked fast food”

“You saw my leg?””How can a man help what he sees?” he said. “And, if I could add, you possess a very fine leg.”

“Humor can get in under the door while seriousness is still fumbling at the handle.”

“Hugh consoled me, saying, “Don’t let it get to you. There are plenty of things you’re good at.”When asked for some examples, he listed vacuuming and naming stuffed animals. He says he can probably come up with a few more, but he’ll need some time to think.”

“And so the dentist says ‘Rinse.’ So you lean over, and you’re lookin’ at this miniature toilet bowl.”

“What I’m expecting is for you to behave like the gentleman I always thought you were.”

“Merda! Her lace panties had snagged on his ring, the signet ring he’d inherited from his father, Giacomo Casanova. His father had seduced hundred of women without any problems whatsoever, and he was having trouble with just one. This was the real reason he never used the Casanova name. He could never live up to his father’s reputation. The old man was probably laughing in his grave.Nine circles of hell,” Jack muttered.Hell?” Lara asked. “I thought I was the Holy Land.”You’re paradise. Unfortunately, I am stuck there.”Her eyes widened. “Stuck?”Normally, I would love being stuck to your lovely bum, but it would look odd if we go sightseeing with my hand under your skirt. Especially in the basilica.”She glanced down. “How can you be stuck?”My ring. It’s caught in the lace. See?” He moved his hand down her hip, dragging her undies down a few inches.Okay, stop.” She bit her lip, frowning, then suddenly giggled. “I can’t believe this has happened.”I assure you, as much as I had hoped to get your clothes off, this was not part of my original plan.”She snorted. “No problem. Just rip yourself loose.”Are you sure?” It will destroy you undies.”She narrowed her eyes with a seductuve look. “Rip it.”Very well.” He jerked his hand away, but the panties came with him. He yanked his hand back and forth, but the lacy, latex material simply stretched with him. “Santo cielo, they are indestructible.”Lara laughed.He continued to wage battle, but to no avail. “They could use this material to build spaceships.”

“Well, man, you know what they say.”No, I don’t. I don’t know what they say. I don’t even know who they are. Who is this they? They seem pretty smug. They seem to think they know shit. Fuck them.”

“Myrnin turned away to pick up his Ben Franklin spectacles, balanced them on his nose, and looked over them to say, “Don’t do drugs. I feel I ought to say that.”