Quotes By Author: Jasper Fforde

“Death, I had discovered long ago, was available in varying flavors, and none of them particularly palatable. ”

“Religion isn’t the cause of wars, it’s the excuse.”

“Okay, this is the wisdom. First, time spent on reconnaissanse is never wasted. Second, almost anything can be improved with the addition of bacon. And finally, there is no problem on Earth that can’t be ameliorated by a hot bath and a cup of tea.”

“Bowden Cable is the sort of honest and dependable operative that is the backbone of SpecOps. They never win commendations or medalsand the public has no knowledge of them at all. They are all worth ten of people like me.”

“I didn’t set out to discover a truth. I was actually sent to the Outer Fringes to conduct a chair census and learn some humility. But the truth inevitably found me, as important truths often do, like a lost thought in need of a mind.”

“I shouldn’t believe anything I say, if I were you-and that includes what I just told you.”

“Death doesn’t care about personalities – he’s more interested in meeting quotas.”

“I would so hate to be a first-person character! Always on your guard, always having people read your thoughts!”

“Her majesty is one verb short of a sentence.”

“the Real-World was a sprawling mess of a book in need of a good editor.”

“Dead. Never been that before. Not even once.”

“For every expert there is an equal and opposite expert.”

“If it weren’t for greed, intolerance, hate, passion and murder, you would have no works of art, no great buildings, no medical science, no Mozart, no Van Gough, no Muppets and no Louis Armstrong.”

“Don’t ever call me mad, Mycroft. I’m not mad. I’m just … well, differently moraled, that’s all.”

“Whereas story is processed in the mind in a straightforward manner, poetry bypasses rational thought and goes straight to the limbic system and lights it up like a brushfire. It’s the crack cocaine of the literary world.”