All Quotes By Tag: Humor

“[My mom’s] funny that way, celebrating special occasions with blue food. I think it’s her way of saying anything is possible. Percy can pass seventh grade. Waffles can be blue. Little miracles like that.”

“There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating: people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing.”

“I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.”

“I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it’s such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.”

“I really can’t think about kissing when I’ve got a rebellion to incite. ”

“You are the shuckiest shuck faced shuck in the world!”

“There is nothing more luxurious than eating while you read—unless it be reading while you eat. Amabel did both: they are not the same thing, as you will see if you think the matter over.”

“Is that a bulletproof vest? See, now that’s so insulting. That’s like saying I’m not smart enough to shoot you in the head.” Eddie DeChooch”

“We only came close to dying six or seven times, which I thought was pretty good. Once, I lost my grip and found myself dangling by one hand from a ledge fifty feet above the rocky surf. But I found another handhold and kept climbing. A minute later Annabeth hit a slippery patch of moss and her foot slipped. Fortunately, she found something else to put it against. Unfortunately, that something was my face. “Sorry,” she murrmured. “S’okay,” I grunted, though I’d never really wanted to know what Annabeth’s sneaker tasted like.”

“Why it’s simply impassible!Alice: Why, don’t you mean impossible?Door: No, I do mean impassible. (chuckles) Nothing’s impossible!”

“Sometimes the sins you haven’t committed are all you have left to hold onto.”

“You know what would help?” I asked, not meeting his eyes.”Hmm?””If you turned off this crap music and put on something that came out after the Berlin Wall went down.”Dimitri laughted. “Your worst class is history, yet somehow, you know everything about Eastern Europe.””Hey, gotta have material for my jokes, Comrade.” Still smiling, he turned the radio dail. To a country station.”Hey! This isn’t what I had in mind,” I exclaimed. I could tell he was on the verge of laughing again.”Pick. It’s one or the other.”I sighed. “Go back to the 1980s stuff.”He flipped the dail, and I crossed my arms over my chest as some vaguely European-sounding band sang about how video had killed the radio star. I wished someone would kill this radio.”

“Did you like question ten, Moony?” asked Sirius as they emerged into the entrance hall.”Loved it,” said Lupin briskly. “Give five signs that identify the werewolf. Excellent question.””D’you think you managed to get all the signs?” said James in tones of mock concern.”Think I did,” said Lupin seriously, as they joined the crowd thronging around the front doors eager to get out into the sunlit grounds. “One: He’s sitting on my chair. Two: He’s wearing my clothes. Three: His name’s Remus Lupin…”

“Y’all smoke to enjoy it. I smoke to die.”

“Touch her, and I’ll freeze your testicles off and put them in a jar. Understand?”