All Quotes By Tag: Humor

“There are two types of people in this world. People who hate clowns…and clowns. (Bobby Pendragon)”

“Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Thanks a lot. Do you really want music in the shower? I guess there’s no better place to dance than a slick surface next to a glass door.”

“Well, I certainly don’t,” said Percy sanctimoniously. “I shudder to think what the state of my in-tray would be if I was away from work for five days.” “Yeah, someone might slip dragon dung in it again, eh, Perce?” said Fred. “That was a sample of fertilizer from Norway!” said Percy, going very red in the face. “It was nothing personal!” “It was,” Fred whispered to Harry as they got up from the table. “We sent it.”

“Watching Jace hug Isabelle, she tried to school her features into a happy and loving expression.”Are you all right?” Simon asked, with some concern. “Your eyes are crossing.”

“I didn’t have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.”

“It’s not like there’s a law against flying.””Yes there is. The law of gravity.”

“April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.”

“If you think anyone is sane you just don’t know enough about them.”

“1492. As children we were taught to memorize this year with pride and joy as the year people began living full and imaginative lives on the continent of North America. Actually, people had been living full and imaginative lives on the continent of North America for hundreds of years before that. 1492 was simply the year sea pirates began to rob, cheat, and kill them.”

“Who’re you going with, then?” said Ron.”Angelina,” said Fred promptly, without a trace of embarrassment.”What?” said Ron, taken aback. “You’ve already asked her?””Good point,” said Fred. He turned his head and called across the common room, “Oi! Angelina!”Angelina, who had been chatting with Alicia Spinnet near the fire, looked over at him.”What?” She called back.”Want to come to the ball with me?”Angelina gave Fred a sort of appraising look.”All right, then,” she said, and she turned back to Alicia and carried on chatting with a bit of a grin on her face.”There you go,” said Fred to Harry and Ron, “piece of cake.”

“Aren’t they supposed to be hiring someone else to train me full-time anyway?”“Yes,” he said, getting up and pulling her to her feet along with him,“ and I’m worried that if you get into the habit of making out with your instructors, you’ll wind up making out with him, too.”“ Don’t be sexist. They could find me a female instructor.”“In that case you have my permission to make out with her, as long as I can watch.”

“You nicked-named my daughter after the Lock Ness Monster!”

“Harry — I think I’ve just understood something! I’ve got to go to the library!”And she sprinted away, up the stairs.“What does she understand?” said Harry distractedly, still looking around, trying to tell where the voice had come from.“Loads more than I do,” said Ron, shaking his head.“But why’s she got to go to the library?”“Because that’s what Hermione does,” said Ron, shrugging. “When in doubt, go to the library.”

“Half of seeming clever is keeping your mouth shut at the right times.”

“You’ve got to get obsessed and stay obsessed.”