All Quotes By Tag: Humor

“Failure: the renewable resource.”

“It’s not the despair, Laura. I can take the despair. It’s the hope I can’t stand. ~ Brian Stimpson, Clockwise ”

“Snowball?”It’s white.”Meow.”It’s so girly.”This from a guy who named his poodle Princess.”his laughter died. “How do you know about Princess?”Your sister told me.”

“Please don’t die.”

“They don’t make morgues with windows. In fact, if the geography allows for it, they hardly ever make morgues above the ground. I guess it’s partly because it must be eisier to refrigerate a bunch of coffin-sized chambers in a room insulated by the earth. But that can’t be all there is to it. Under the earth means a lot more than relative altitude. It’s where dead things fit. Graves are under the earth. So are Hell, Gehenna, Hades, and a dozen other reported afterlives.Maybe it says somthing about people. Maybe for us, under the earth is a subtle and profound statement. Maybe ground level provides us with a kind of symbolic boundary marker, an artificial construct that helps us remember that we are alive. Mabye it helps us push death’s shadow back from our lives.I live in a basement apartment and like it. What does that say about me?Probably that I overanalyze things.”

“There is a funny story I always tell my students…when I came for the first time to the US. I didn’t speak English (Only Spanish) & I saw on every door the word “exit” which in Spanish means Success = Exito. And then I said :”No wonder Americans are winners ,every door they take leads to success” ~smile :)”

“I bet there are a lot of women out there who want to sleep with a guy who reads. And being the head of the reading foundation, I’m very well endowed.”

“I cringe when critics say I’m a master of the popular novel. What’s an unpopular novel?”

“If pain is a pot of boiling water, humor can be the rising steam.”

“… human beings fear the unknown. So, whatever’s freaking you out, grab it by the balls and say hello.”

“In closing, I hope everything helps show that I wouldn’t be a fade-out or a person who turns to think to drink or dope when things get tough. I believe that anything is possible if you have the combination of love for what you’re doing and the will to sit down and not get up until it’s done….”

“Madelyne, we’re married now. ‘Tis a usual occurrence to bed one’s wife on the wedding night.”

“I wouldn’t yell ‘fire’ at that slimeball if his ass was in flames.”

“Sorry to hear about your Dad.”He shrugged. “He was seventy, and we always told him fast food would kill him.””Heart attack?””He was hit by a Pizza Express truck.”

“Would you like to hear more romance of the evening? He told me that the Guard should be reduced by half, and I threw an ink jar at his head.””Is that when he cried?””He ducked,” Attolia said dryly.Grown more confident of the queen’s humor, Relius said, “I had not pictured you for a fishwife.””Lo, the transforming power of love.”