All Quotes By Tag: Humor

“It is. I’m your boyfriend now, whichmeans there’s no room for your hipster admirer. He’ll just have to lick his wounds while we lick other things.”

“He grinned, and right then it occurred to him that he hadn’t enjoyed himself so much with a woman in a very long time. If Annabelle Granger were a few inches taller, a hell of a lot more sophisticated, better organized, less bossy, and more inclined to worship at his feet, she’d have made a perfect wife.”

“We’ve been wed more than a month. Since it appears you mean to stay, I might as well give you leave to call me by my christian name. It is preferable, at any rate, to ‘clodpole.”

“Unfortunately this Electric Monk had developed a fault, and had started to believe all kinds of things, more or less at random. It was even beginning to believe things they’d have difficulty believing in Salt Lake City.”

“Are there any religions on your list that include the slaughter of noblemen as a holy duty?”

“Have nuts and be nuts.”

“Every subject is much easier than the people who wish to make money teaching it would have you know. So, for every single subject that can be systematized, there is a systematization that allows you to get 80% percent of the power with probably 5 or 10% of the effort. So the key question is that you have to prove that you have the superpower to rearrange the subject, to disintermediate the people who get paid for teaching it – which will always push you towards mastery, which is a question of getting the last 2 or 3% out of the system. And so the good news is that you can rearrange any subject to learn most of it very, very quickly. The bad news is that it will feel terrible because you will be told that you are doing the wrong thing and dooming yourself to a life of mediocrity as a jack of many trades, master of none – but in fact, the problem is that the jack of one trade is the connector of none. Good luck!”

“You can’t judge a book by it’s cover but you can sure sell a bunch of books if you have a good one.”

“No man should go to Valhalla with brothel rash.”

“Dad” I pleaded, “this is so [cuss word you never, ever say in front of your mother] ridiculous.”

“This has to be the most self-centered thing I’ve ever said, but no, I think you just wanted to vex me.”

“Like delicate lace,So the threads intertwine,Oh, gossamer webOf wond’rous design!Such beauty and graceWild nature produces…Ughh, look at the spiderSuck out that bug’s juices!”

“What if I shave?” he said. “I look much better when I’m shaved. My cousin will vouch for that—do I not look almost handsome when I shave, Edward? ” He didn’t wait for the duke’s reply but turned earnestly back to Prudence. “Do you think you could marry me if I shaved?”

“You’ll want all your strength for the wedding night.” I cannot think why I should need strength,” she said, ignoring a host of spine-tingling images rising in her mind’s eye. “All I have to do is lie there.” “Naked,” he said grimly. “Truly?” She shot him a glance from under her lashes. “Well, if I must, I must, for you have the advantage of experience in these matters. Still, I do wish you’d told me sooner. I should not have put the modiste to so much trouble about the negligee.” “The what?” “It was ghastly expensive,” she said, “but the silk is as fine as gossamer, and the eyelet work about the neckline is exquisite. Aunt Louisa was horrified. She said only Cyprians wear such things, and it leaves nothing to the imagination.” Jessica heard him suck in his breath, felt the muscular thigh tense against hers. “But if it were left to Aunt Louisa,” she went on,”I should be covered from my chin to my toes in thick cotton ruffled with monstrosities with little bows and rosebuds. Which is absurd, when an evening gown reveals far more, not to mention–” “What color?” he asked. His low voice had roughened. “Wine red,” she said, “With narrow black ribbons threaded through the neckline. Here.” She traced a plunging U over her bosom. “And there’s the loveliest openwork over my…well, here.” She drew her finger over the curve of her breast a bare inch above the nipple. “And openwork on the right side of the skirt. From here” –she pointed to her hip–“down to the hem. And I bought—” “Jess.” Her name was a strangled whisper. “–slippers to match,” she continued.” Black mules with–” “Jess.” In one furious flurry of motion he threw down the reins and hauled her into his lap.”

“I have a hundred-year-old aunt who aspires to sainthood, and whose only wish has been to go into the convent, but no congregation, not even the Little Sisters of Charity, could tolerate her for more than a few weeks, so the family has had to look after her. Believe me, there is nothing so insufferable as a saint, I wouldn’t sic one on my worst enemy.”