All Quotes By Tag: Humor

“Missing you is worse than Pittsburgh.”

“Two farewell gifts,” Sadie muttered, “from two gorgeous guys. I hate my life.”

“Do you really expect me to fall apart every time another woman throws herself at you? Because, if that’s so, I’ll be a nervous wreck before the honeymoon’s over. Although, if they do it in front of me…”He went still. “Did you just propose to me?”She bristled. “Do you have a problem with that?”The scoreboard lit up, and he gave the world a high five. “God, I love you.”

“Rohan, one of us is an unmarried man with superior mathematical abilities and no prospects for the evening. The other is a confirmed lecher in an amorous mood, with a willing and nubile young wife waiting at home. Who do you think should do the damned account books?” And, with a nonchalant wave, St. Vincent had left the office.”

“My life was going to flash before my eyes, but it decided to hide behind my eyes and quake with terror instead.”

“The very first thing I tell my new students on the first day of a workshop is that good writing is about telling the truth. We are a species that needs and wants to understand who we are. Sheep lice do not seem to share this longing, which is one reason they write so very little. But we do. We have so much we want to say and figure out.”

“I had a romance novel inside me, but I paid three sailors to beat it out of me with steel pipes.”

“It was like someone in a suit walked up to me and gave me a certificate, which stated “Roxanne Giselle Logan, Your Life is Fucked”.”

“Okay, that one’s pretty good,” Fred acknowledged, after she’d told him a particularly filthy joke. “But have you heard the one about the baker’s wife?””No,” Kyra said.”Rumor has it, she married him for his buns.” Fred burst out laughing.Kyra groaned. “Okay, that was just bad.”

“As a rule of thumb, it was always safer if the Commander-in-Chief formulated a risky plan.”

“While Maddox now believed the demon did not want to hurt Ashlyn, he wasn’t willing to take a chance. He would talk about flowers and moonbeams – he cringed – if it meant maintaining this delectable inner peace.”Is there a way to break your death-curse?” Ashlyn asked. So much for flowers and moon-beams.”

“Justin, honey, you were my very first kiss. My very first hand to hold. But you were nothing more than an average guy. And I don’t say that to be mean- I don’t. There was just something about you that made me need to be your girlfriend to this day I don’t know exactly what that was. But it was there.. and it was amazingly strong. -Thirteen Reasons Why”

“Cat doesn’t have to work. She’s a woman of independent means. I settled enough money on her to allow her the freedom to do anything she wished. She went to boarding school for four years, and stayed to teach for another two. Eventually she came to me and said she’d accepted a position as a governess for the Hathaway family. I believe you were in France with Win at the time. Cat went for the interview, Cam and Amelia liked her, Beatrix and Poppy clearly needed her, and no one seemed inclined to question her lack of experience.”“Of course not,” Leo said acidly. “My family would never bother with something so insignificant as job experience. I’m sure they started the interview by asking what her favorite color was.”

“My God, Jack – with a look like that, you two should just get a room. And try not to pick the one with a dead body next to it this time.”

“The fear of death is why we build cathedrals, have children, declare war, and watch cat videos online at three a.m.”