All Quotes By Tag: Humor

“I have always been a huge admirer of my own work. I’m one of the funniest and most entertaining writers I know.”

“Aujourd’hui, on cherche partout à répandre le savoir; qui sait si, dans quelques siècles, il n’y aura pas des universités pour rétablir l’ancienne ignorance?”

“I always like a dog so long as he isn’t spelled backward.”

“To my way of thinking, there is every bit as much evidence for theexistence of UFOs as there is for the existence of God. Probably farmore. At least in the case of UFOs there have been countless tapedand filmed and, by the way, unexplained sightings from all over theworld, along with documented radar evidence seen by experiencedmilitary and civilian radar operators.>>”

“You have come to earth to entertain and to be entertained.”

“You’re too young to be depressed, unless you have gonorrhea. That shit is a buzz kill.”

“I’m glad you escaped, Kyra,” Fred said, looking serious again. “And that I found you.””Me too,” Kyra said, glancing up at him. “It wouldn’t have been much of a life trying to live in the dumbwaiter.”Fred leaned down and kissed Kyra full on the lips.Kyra pulled away. “How do you know I’m interested in you? Just because you’ve decided I’m worth hanging around for doesn’t mean I feel the same way.”Fred cocked his head at her. “Really?””Oh, okay,” Kyra said.Then she kissed him back.”

“Nothing in Life is Promised Except Death”

“And your life,’ Katie said to Christy, ‘is turning into a rather predictable romance. Girl meets boy. Boy is a dork for four years. Girl blossoms into a gorgeous woman. Boy finds his brain. Girl turns into starry-eyed mush head.”

“Don’t call me babe. I’m not a floozy. Or a freaking talking pig.”

“I tried to hang myself with a bungee cord. I kept almost dying.”

“Picnics are very dear to those who are in the first stage of the tender passion.”

“It has been well said that an author who expects results from a first novel is in a position similar to that of a man who drops a rose petal down the Grand Canyon of Arizona and listens for the echo.”

“If you haven’t cried at least once while writing a chapter of your inspirational book, then you have to ask yourself if your’re writing fiction.”

“Give me some sugar.”