All Quotes By Tag: Humor

“He hoped and prayed that there wasn’t an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn’t an afterlife.”

“I quote others only in order the better to express myself.”

“Blackjack,” Percy said, “this is Piper and Jason. They’re friends.”The horse nickered.”Uh, maybe later,” Percy answered.Piper had heard that Percy could speak to horses, being the son of the horse lord Poseidon, but she’d never seen it in action.”What does Blackjack want?” she asked.”Donuts,” Percy said. “Always donuts.”

“This is my knife. It is very sharp and very eager to hurt you.”

“The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers.”

“Procrastinate now, don’t put it off.”

“There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.”

“Take some more tea,” the March Hare said to Alice, very earnestly.”I’ve had nothing yet,” Alice replied in an offended tone, “so I can’t take more.””You mean you can’t take less,” said the Hatter: “it’s very easy to take more than nothing.””Nobody asked your opinion,” said Alice.”

“…inside every old person is a young person wondering what happened.”

“You must admit I have a right to live in a pigsty if I want.”

“If you haven’t got anything nice to say about anybody come sit next to me.”

“What is it with you today?” says Christina on the way to breakfast. Her eyes are stillswollen from sleep and her tangled hair forms a fuzzy halo around her face.“Oh, you know,” I say. “Sun shining. Birds chirping.”She raises an eyebrow at me, as if reminding me that we are in an undergroundtunnel.”

“Nobody’s ever asked me to a party before, as a friend. Is that why you dyed your eyebrow, for the party? Should I do mine too?”

“You’re a stalker with hooves.””I am not! I followed her to the Big House and hid in a bush and watched the whole thing.”

“We who think we are about to die will laugh at anything.”