All Quotes By Tag: Humor

“Rule of life. If you bother to ask someone’s advice, then bother to listen to it.”

“That’s not a bad word…hate and war are bad words, but fuck isn’t.”

“I will never deny that life isn’t fair. It seems as though when a woman leaves a man she is strong and independent, but when a man leaves a woman he is a pig and a jerk.”

“After a long, labored sigh, I said, “She was really happy when I got there. I’m pretty sure she was suicidal when I left.”“You do have that effect on people.”

“I had a dream about you last night.. you were holding a pine cone and introducing him as Gerald.”

“I’m not sure if there’s one right place I’m supposed to be, he said, but I know a couple of wrong places I’d give a second try in a heartbeat. ”

“Life sucks, then you die. Then it sucks again. ”

“…Life is much simpler if you don’t notice anything….”

“Life makes fools of all of us sooner or later. But keep your sense of humor and you’ll at least be able to take your humiliations with some measure of grace. In the end, you know, its our own expectations that crush us.”

“I tried to contain myself… but I escaped!”

“Life is half delicious yogurt, half crap, and your job is to keep the plastic spoon in the yogurt.”

“Progress just means bad things happen faster.”

“I had a dream about you last night. The champagne was non-alcoholic. You didn’t notice, and laughed at my jokes anyway.”

“Don’t leave it all unsaid,somewhere in the wasteland of your head.”

“If one has no sense of humor, one is in trouble.”