All Quotes By Tag: Humor

“To Trin Tragula’s horror, the shock completely annihilated her brain; but to his satisfaction he realized that he had proved conclusively that if life is going to exist in a Universe of this size, then the one thing it cannot afford to have is a sense of proportion.”

“There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords.”

“Riza: Without his Alchemy he’s just…Jean: A little brat who swears a lotMaes: An arrogant pipsqueakRoy: Useless. Just uselessAlphonse: Sorry big brother, I don’t know how to add to that…Ed *starts to cry*: YOU’RE ALL PICKING ON ME!!!”

“Listen, Peaches, trickery is what humans are all about,” said the voice of Maurice. “They’re so keen on tricking one another all the time that they elect governments to do it for them.”

“I was raised right — I talk about people behind their backs. It’s called manners.”

“I didn’t do anyting wrong. All I know is I saw two people struggling to get inside these walls and they [Minho and Alby] couldn’t make it. To ignore that because of some stupid rule seemed selfish, cowardly, and… well, stupid. If you want to throw me in jail for trying to save someone’s [Alby] life, then go ahead. Next time I promise I’ll point at them and laugh, then go eat some of Frypan’s dinner. -Thomas”

“Disagreements over money are the biggest cause of divorce.”She waved her hand. “Absolutely no problem. Your money is our money. My money is my money.” She wrote away.”I should make you negotiate with Phoebe.”

“Young people, nowadays, imagine that money is everything.Yes, murmured Lord Henry, settling his button-hole in his coat; and when they grow older they know it.”

“Above all, if what you’ve done is stupid, but it works, it ain’t stupid.”

“Yakka foob mog. Grug pubbawup zink wattoom gazork. Chumble spuzz. I love loopholes.”

“There was this book Dad used to read to me every night called “The Giving Tree.” It was a really good book, but the back of it had a picture of the author, this guy named Shel Silverstein.But Shel Silverstein looks more like a burglar or a pirate than a guy who should be writing books for kids.Dad must have known that picture kind of freaked me out, because one night after I got out of bed, Dad said: “IF YOU GET OUT OF BED AGAIN TONIGHT, YOU’LL PROBABLY RUN INTO SHEL SILVERSTEIN IN THE HALLWAY.”That really did the trick, Ever since then, I STILL don’t get out of bed at night, even if I really need to use the bathroom.”

“No. Don’t distract me with your sexy talk.”

“See, that’s the difference,” Mauvin said. “I suffer a loss and people console me. Royce suffers a loss and whole towns evacuate.”

“Pranks vs school= pranks win all day”

“I’d have been dead a long time ago if not for my friends, one of whom had just jumped off the cliff after me. I’d have been a lot more appreciative if he hadn’t pushed me first.” ~Cassandra Palmer”