All Quotes By Tag: Humor

“rolf! what? are you really rolling on the floor laughing? well, please stay down there for a sec while I KICK YOUR ASS.”

“I am in full possession of the amazing power of being sarcastic.”

“Adam’s response was buried in the sound of the first-story door falling open. Noah slouched in. In a wounded tone, he said, “He threw me out the window!”Ronan’s voice sang out from behind his closed door: “You’re already dead!”

“Oh! it is absurd to have a hard-and-fast rule about what one should read and what one shouldn’t. More than half of modern culture depends on what one shouldn’t read.”

“You did not just say that. I have a feeling we’re on the verge of hugging and coming up with cute nicknames for each other.”

“An elite confederacy of nerds. My peeps”

“Perhaps you are thinking: ‘But a tank costs several million dollars, not including floor mats. I don’t have that kind of money.’Don’t be silly. You’re a consumer, right? You have credit cards, right?Perhaps you are thinking: ‘Yes, but how am I going to pay the credit-card company?’Don’t be silly. You have a tank, right?”

“You wanna go build some shelves with me?”

“I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don’t even invite me.”

“Why on earth would you buy a car like this if you can’t drive a stick? There are dozens of cars–new cars–that have automatic transmission. It’d be a million times easier.” Adrian shrugged. “I like the color. It matches my living room.”

“The first ten million years were the worst,” said Marvin, “and the second ten million years, they were the worst too. The third ten million years I didn’t enjoy at all. After that I went into a bit of a decline.”

“Alec?” Magnus was staring at him. He had dispatched the remaining Iblis demons, and the square was empty but for the two of them. “Did you just- did you just save my life?” Alec knew he ought to say something like, Of course, because I’m a Shadowhunter and that’s what we do, or That’s my job. Jace would have said something like that. Jace always knew the right thing to say. But the words that actually came out of Alec’s mouth where quite different- and sounded petulant, even to his own ears. “You never called me back,” he said. “I called you so many times and you never called me back.” Magnus looked at Alec as if he’d lost his mind. “Your city is under attack,” he said. “The wards have broken, and the streets are full of demons. And you want to know why I haven’t called you?”

“So, have a little fun. Soon enough you’ll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.”

“All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.”

“If I ever form a clan, we’ll be the anti-cheerleaders and walk under the bleacher forming mild acts of mayhem.”