All Quotes By Tag: Humor

“This was not a fairy-tale castle and there was no such thing as a fairy-tale ending, but sometimes you could threaten to kick the handsome prince in the ham-and-eggs.”

“It was impossible to get the Dimitri and Tasha thing out of my head, but at least packing and getting ready made sure I didn’t devote 100 percent of my brain power to him. More like 95 percent.”

“How do I define history? It’s just one fucking thing after another”

“You humans, always eating. I’ll make you soup. You can eat it while you keep working.” Myrnin set aside his book and walked into the back of the lab.”Don’t use the same beaker you used for poisons!” Claire yelled after him. He waved a pale hand. “I mean it!”

“He’s not doing anything he shouldn’t be doing, right?” “Like what?””Like hitting on you.””Ew. No, of course not. He doesn’t see me that way.” Michael shook his head and went back to his coffee.”What? You think he does?””Sometimes he looks at you a little… oddly, that’s all. Maybe you’re right. Maybe he just wants you for your blood.””Again, Ew! What’s with you this morning?””Not enough coffee.”

“People use the word ‘love’ a lot of different ways. Take me, for instance. I am often heard saying that I love my mom and dad. I am also often heard saying that I love pizza. What am I saying when I say I love my mom and dad? I’m saying that I care about them. I’m saying that I love spending time with them and that I talk to them every chance I get. I’m saying that if they needed me, I would do every humanly possible to help them. I’m saying that I always want what’s best for them. What am I saying when I say I love pizza? Am I saying that I care deeply about pizza? Am I saying that I have a relationship with pizza? Am I saying that if pizza had a problem, I would be there for the pizza? (What? Not enough pepperoni? I’ll be right there!) Of course not. When I say I love pizza, I’m just saying that I enjoy eating pizza until I don’t want any more pizza. Once I’m tired of the pizza, I don’t care what happens to the rest of it. I’ll throw it away. I’ll feed it to the dog. I’ll stick it in the back of the refrigerator until it gets all green and moldy. It doesn’t matter to me anymore. These are two very different definition of the word ‘love’. It gets confusing when people start talking about love, and especially about loving you. Which way do these people love you? Do they want what is best for you, or do they just want you around because it is good for them, and they don’t really care what happens to you? Next time someone looks deeply into your eyes and says ‘I love you’, look very deeply right back and say, ‘Would that be pizza love, or the real thing?”

“I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.”

“Cam’s wings were so bright they were almost blinding as they pulsed. “Holy Hell,” Callie whispered, blinking.”More or less,” Arriane said”

“Being a leader is making the people you love hate you a little more each day.”

“The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of a trick learned while mastering the art of living.”

“Orion brightened. “I have an idea.””Yes?” said Foaly, daring to hope that a spark of Artemis remained.”Why don’t we look for some magic stones that can grant wishes? Or, if that doesn’t work, you could search my naked body for some mysterious birthmark that means I am actually the prince of somewhere or other.”

“When life hands you a lemon, say, ‘Oh yeah, I like lemons! What else ya got?”

“Ooh..I want one” – BexThey’re not puppies.” -Cammie”

“I like to see the glass as half full, hopefully of jack daniels.”

“But we’re going to smile and pretend we’re fine with the dorky birthmas gifts because people do not get that they can’t mush a birthday into christmas.”