All Quotes By Tag: Humor

“I planted a kamikaze kiss on Jamie’s cheek.“FUCK,” he shouted, wiping it off. “What if you killed me!” He threw a Skittle at my face. It hit my forehead.“Ow!”“Taste the rainbow bitch.”

“…crackers…” a voice breathed out nehind us, “yesss…”Both of us turned, watching as Chubs twisted around in his seat and settled back down, still fast asleep. I pressed a hand over my mouth to keep from laughing. Liam rolled his eyes, smiling. “He dreams about food,” he said. “A lot.”

“They heard the click of the mail slot and flop of letters on the doormat. “Get the mail, Dudley,” said Uncle Vernon from behind his paper. “Make Harry get it.””Get the mail, Harry.””Make Dudley get it.””Poke him with your Smelting stick, Dudley.”

“Helloooo? I just made some changes in my life, and if I don’t get back to you as soon as possible, then guess what? You were one of those changes.”

“If you need help bark like a dog.” – Gendry. “That’s stupid. If I need help I’ll shout help.” – Arya”

“If Jesus came back and saw what was being done in his name, he’d never stop throwing up.”

“The staircase that was revealed was lit with a soft red glow.I feel like I’m walking down into a porn movie,” V muttered as they took the steps with care.Wouldn’t that require more black candles for you,” Zsadist cracked.At the bottom of the landing, they looked left and right down a corridor carved out of stone, seeing row after row of…black candles with ruby color flames.I take that back,” Z said, eyeing the display.We start hearing chick-a-wow-wow shit,” V cut in, “can I start calling you Z-packed?”Not if you want to keep breathing.”

“You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go.”

“When you’re the only sane person, you look like the only insane person.”

“I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.”

“And it’s Gryfindor in possession again, as Johnson takes the Quaffle— Flint alongside her —poke him in the eye, Angelina —it was a joke, professor, it was a joke…”

“Pooh,” said Rabbit kindly, “you haven’t any brain.” “I know,” said Pooh humbly.”

“I’m glad mushrooms are against the law, because I took them one time, and you know what happened to me? I laid in a field of green grass for four hours going, “My God! I love everything.” Yeah, now if that isn’t a hazard to our country … how are we gonna justify arms dealing when we realize that we’re all one?”

“Yes Yeswhen God created love he didn’t help most when God created dogs He didn’t help dogs when God created plants that was average when God created hate we had a standard utility when God created me He created me when God created the monkey He was asleep when He created the giraffe He was drunk when He created narcotics He was high and when He created suicide He was low when He created you lying in bed He knew what He was doing He was drunk and He was high and He created the mountains and the sea and fire at the same time He made some mistakes but when He created you lying in bed He came all over His Blessed Universe.”

“Hearts can’t be broken because they’re made of marzipan.”