All Quotes By Tag: Humor

“Hello Dad! It is now three in the morning. Do you know where I am? ”

“You’re thinking I’m one of those wise-ass California vegetarians who is going to tell you that eating a few strips of bacon is bad for your health. I’m not. I say its a free country and you should be able to kill yourself at any rate you choose, as long as your cold dead body is not blocking my driveway.”

“Harry and Hermione are very platonic friends. But I won’t answer for anyone else, nudge-nudge wink-wink!”

“If after reading this book you come to my home and brutally murder me, I do not blame you.”

“There’s a fine line between support and stalking and let’s all stay on the right side of that.”

“Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.”

“My muscles informed me they did not want to go through any more exercise today. So I suggest that maybe he should let me off this time. He laughed, and I’m pretty sure it was at me…not with me. “Why is that funny?” “Oh,” he said, his smile dropping. “You were serious.””Of course I was! Look, I’ve technically been awake for two days. Why do we have to start this training now? Let me go to bed.” I whined. “It’s just one hour.””How do you feel right now?””I hurt like hell.””You’ll feel worse tomorrow.””So?””So, better get a jump on it while you still feel…not as bad.””What kind of logic is that?” I retorted.”

“My brain? That’s my second favorite organ.”

“I’m a godmother, that’s a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that’s cute, I taught her that.”

“In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards.”

“Colin decided then and there that the female mind was a strange and incomprehensible organ – one which no man should even attempt to understand. There wasn’t a woman alive who could go from point A to B without stopping at C, D, X, and 12 along the way.”

“God knows I had not wanted to fall in love with her. I had not wanted to fall in love with any one. But God knows I had and I lay on the bed in the room of the hospital in Milan and all sorts of things went through my head but I felt wonderful…”

“An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it makes a better soup.”

“I wouldn’t marry Giddon to save my life,” Katsa said. “Not even to save yours.””Well.” Raffin’s eyes were full of laughter. “I’d leave that part out.”

“Life is All About How you Handle Plan BPlan A is always my first choice.You know, the one whereEverything works out to beHappily ever-after.But more often than not,I find myself dealing withThe upside-down, inside-out version –Where nothing goes as it should.It’s at this point that the realTest of my character comes in..Do I sink, or do I swim?Do I wallow in self pity and play the victim,Or simply shift gearsAnd make the best of the situation?The choice is all mine…Life is all about how you handle Plan B.”