All Quotes By Tag: Humor

“Or you just not ask her.””You might as well slit my throat.”

“He pulled away the glove, and at the first glimpse of her fragile, white hand, all thoughts of negotiation fled. “I don’t see how matters could become worse,” he muttered. “I am already besotted with a needle-tongued, conceited, provoking ape leader of a lady.”Her head jerked up. “Besotted? You’re nothing like it. Vengeful is more like it. Spiteful.”

“I don’t know whether to toss you through that window or shake your hand and say ‘Well done'” Henry said in a tired voice.”

“He wasn’t aware of it but when he smiled he looked like an amiable bear. When he didn’t smile he didn’t look amiable”

“And she swung the old oar at him with all her strength.It hit with a great thwack, splintering in two, and he went over the side, into the dark, cold waters of the lake, sinking like a stone.It took her two seconds. And then she let out a scream for help, tossing the broken oar away from her, and jumped into the water after him.It was very cold, numbingly so, and as it closed over her head she grabbed forhim, wrapping her arms around his body, ready to sink to the bottom with him.Instead he kicked, pushing them up so that they broke the surface, his armclamped around hers as she struggled. “Jesus, woman!” he snapped. “When did we have to become Romeo and Juliet?”

“I can’t help but notice that you keep writing love poetry to my wife. Well, you see, I married her, which makes her my wife. You know what you might want to try? Writing some poems about the sunset. The sunset isn’t fucking married.”

“Without wisdom, a teacher is nothing more than a research paper: a knowledge filled text which is boring and has no practical use. With wisdom, a teacher is like a great novel: a text filled with knowledge, practical applications and, above all, fun.”

“There is no real distinction between who can and cannot be a teacher. All that matters is that this person should have knowledge of the subject matter, empathy and compassion with others, and, above all, a great sense of humor which is the true mark of wisdom.”

“There is no real distinction between who can and cannot be a teacher. All that matters is that this person should have knowledge of the subject matter, empath and compassion with others, and, above all, a great sense of humor which is the true mark of wisdom.”

“What are you going to do? “Can’t say – run for president, write -” “Greenwich Village?” “Good heavens, no – I said write – not drink.”

“There’s only one person who needs a glass of water oftener than a small child tucked in for the night, and that’s a writer sitting down to write.”

“That’s how I want to go. Taking my own way out and totally pissing everybody off at the end.”

“If failure is supposed to be a stepping stone to success, then I’d like to have a serious chat with the fellow who set down those stones.”

“He laced his hands behind his neck and propped his boots on the opposite arm of the sofa. If an artist were to capture this image, it would have been labeled,Smugness: A Portrait. She wanted to shake him.”

“Terence: As my old da used to tell me, ‘never trust a rich man’.David: Good thing I’m only moderately rich.Terence: Which is why I only moderately distrust you.”