All Quotes By Tag: Humor

“I am ever a gentle maiden,” she shouted. “Damn if I’m not.”

“Hespe’s mouth went firm. She didn’t scowl exactly, but it looked like she was getting all the pieces of a scowl together in one place, just in case she needed them in a hurry.”

“Come work for me, and I’ll tell you.”My eyes went to his. “You are a thief, a cheat, a murderer, and a not-nice man,” I said calmly. “I don’t like you.”He shrugged, the motion making him look utterly harmless. “I’m not a thief,” he said. “And I don’t mind manipulating you into working for me when I need it.” He smiled, showing me perfect teeth. “I enjoy it, actually.”

“Amy, Dan, and Nellie were sitting at a table in a conference room, examining reproductions of Franklin documents-some so rare, the librarians told her, the only copies existed in Paris. “Yeah, here’s a rare grocery list,” Dan muttered. “Wow.”

“Tessa: I won’t know if I like it until I try it, will I?”Will: “I’ve never swum naked in the Thames, but I know I wouldn’t like it.””But think how entertaining for sightseers,” said Tessa, and she saw Jem duck his head to hide the quick flash of his grin.”

“Your job is to focus on my personal happiness, she said, & I’ve got big plans, so break time is over. ”

“It was one of those cases where you approve the broad, general principle of an idea but can’t help being in a bit of a twitter at the prospect of putting it into practical effect. I explained this to Jeeves, and he said much the same thing had bothered Hamlet.”

“Literature doesn’t exactly have a strong mental-health track record.”

“His sentences didn’t seem to have any verbs, which was par for a politician. All nouns, no action. ”

“Rose took my nose, I suppose,” he repeated; the bubble of phlegm in his throat made a disgusting crackle. “And it really blows.”

“Now,I’m no scientist,but I know what endorphins are. They’re tiny little magical elves that swim through your blood stream and tell funny jokes to each other. When they reach your brain,you hear what they’re saying and that boosts your health and happiness. “Knock Knock… Who’s There?.. Little endorphin… Little endorphin who?… Little Endorphin Annie.” And then the endorphins laugh and then you laugh. See? Its Science.”

“My girlfriend is a party girl angel who can kick some arse and cook.”

“Kyo: Of course, I’ll beat YOU, too!Yuki: Don’t you ever get tired of saying that?Kyo: Beating you is my vocation! It’s my goal in life!Yuki: It’s so unfair that I keep having to take abuse just because you can’t meet your goals.Kyo: THAT CONDESCENDING ATTITUDE OF YOURS REALLY PISSES ME OFF!Yuki: And that revolting thought process of yours pisses me off.”

“I put tape on the mirrors in my house so I don’t accidentally walk through into another dimension.”

“You rush a miracle worker, you get lousy miracles!”