All Quotes By Tag: Humor

“What if nobody showed up at Armageddon?”

“Shee, you guys are so unhip it’s a wonder your bums don’t fall off.”

“Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.”

“Mary had a little lamb, its fleece electrostatic / And everywhere Mary went, the lights became erratic.”

“Peter to Austin:”Hard-ons don’t make you think less. They make you think stupid. Which makes me think you must have one 24/7.”

“Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects. ”

“Unrequited love is so boring. Weeping under a blue-black sky is for suckers or maniacs.”

“Money isn’t everything…but it ranks right up there with oxygen.”

“I didn’t think about being king,” he said, his voice hoarse.Eddis stared. “Your capacity to land yourself in a mess because you didn’t think first, Eugenides, will never cease to amaze me. What do you mean you didn’t think about being king? Is Attolia going to marry you and move into my library?”

“Cheeses crusty, got all musty, got damp on the stone of a peach,” I agreed. He looked blank, so I repeated it with proper emphasis. “ ChEEZ-zes crusty. Got Al -musty. Got DAMp on the StoneofapeaCH.”

“…[G]reat progress was evident in the last Congress of the American ‘Labour Union’ in that among other things, it treated working women with complete equality. While in this respect the English, and still more the gallant French, are burdened with a spirit of narrow-mindedness. Anybody who knows anything of history knows that great social changes are impossible without the feminine ferment. Social progress can be measured exactly by the social position of the fair sex (the ugly ones included).”

“No man’s life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session.”

“I stared at him (Dionysus). “You’re…you’re married? But I thought you got in trouble for chasing a wood nymph-”

“Do you know, sire, I think that if we live to tell our grandchildren about this war, they will accuse us of making it up.’ -Marielle”

“Ow! My brains!”