All Quotes By Tag: Humor

“I’m not superstitious. I’m a witch. Witches aren’t superstitious. We are what people are superstitious of.”

“Out of love for mankind, and out of despair at my embarrassing situation, seeing that I had accomplished nothing and was unable to make anything easier than it had already been made, and moved by a genuine interest in those who make everything easy, I conceived it as my task to create difficulties everywhere.”

“Is it really you this time, Kells?”“Well, I’m no maggoty corpse, if that’s what you mean.”He grinned. “That’s a relief. No maggoty corpse would be that sarcastic.”

“This is what it’s all been about with you,” he said in an even tone. “All the fear, allthe running. The nightmares.” When she nodded, he said, “You called him the devil.””He is.” What are you thinking, Scot?”But you… married him?”MacRieve’s disgusted with me. “Basically? Yes.””Ceremony and everything?”She swallowed. “He tricked me into it. I-I was only sixteen.”A muscle ticked in his cheek and his irises grew pale. “Then know this…”She stopped breathing.”Lass, I’m about to make you a widow–”

“I’m telling you, you really should stick to mating within your species, whatever that is.”I would,’ I said, ‘but unfortunately, there are no gorgeous, all-powerful, all-knowing gods around here. I’d even settle for a demigod. It’s a step down, I know. But alas, there are nothing but low-brained mortals here. And half-brains, like you.”

“Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?”

“Finnik?” I say. “Maybe some pants?”
He looks down at his legs as if noticing them for the first time. Then he whips of his hospital gown, leaving him in just is underwear. “Why? Do you find this”-he strikes a ridiculously proactive pose-“distracting?”
I can’t help laughing because it’s funny, and it’s extra funny because Boggs looks so uncomfortable, and I’m happy because Finnik actually sounds like the guy I met at the Quarter Quell.
“I’m only human, Odair.” I get in before the elevator doors close. “Sorry,” I say to Boggs.
“Don’t be. I thought you… handled that well,” He says. “Better than my having to arrest him, anyway.”

Fulvia Cardew hustles over an makes a sound of frustration when she sees my clean face. “All that hard work, down the drain. I’m not blaming you, Katniss. It’s just that very few people are born with camera-ready faces. Like him.” She snags Gale, who’s in a conversation with Plutarch, and spins him towards us. “Isn’t he handsome?”
Gale does look stricking in the uniform, I guess. But the question just embarrasses us both Given our history. I’m trying to think of a witty comeback when Boggs says brusquely, “Well don’t expect us to be too impressed. We just saw Finnick Odair in his underwear.”

“You used nunchucks on a moose?”Wolfe got a haunted look in his eyes. “I used all sorts of things on that bastard.”

“I’m happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in.”

“Welcome to Hell. Here’s your accordion.”

“Myrnin, who hadn’t said much, suddenly reached out and wrapped his arms around her. She stiffened, shocked, and for a panicked second wondered whether he’d suddenly decided to snack on her neck… but it was just a hug. His body felt cold against hers, and way too close, but then he let go and stepped back. “You’ve done very well. I’m extremely proud of you,” he said. There was a touch of color high in his pale cheeks. “Do go home now. And shower. You reek like the dead.”Which, coming from a vampire, was pretty rich.”

“Why isn’t the word “phonetically” spelled with an “f”?”

“Tis an ill cook that cannot lick his own fingers.”

“But what about the End of the Universe? We’ll miss the big moment.”I’ve seen it. It’s rubbish,” said Zaphod,”nothing but a gnab gib.”A what?”Opposite of a big bang. Come on, let’s get zappy.”

“Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.”