All Quotes By Tag: Humor
“Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.”
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“Two wrongs don’t make a right, but they make a good excuse.”
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“It’s no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.”
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“And now,” Eric yelled into his mircophone, “we’re going to sing a new song-one we just wrote. This one’s for my girlfriend. We’ve been going out for three weeks, and, damn, our love is true. We’re gonna be together forever, baby. This one’s called ‘Bang You Like a Drum.”
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“Statistically speaking, there is a 65 percent chance that the love of your life is having an affair. Be very suspicious.”
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“Anything that doesn’t take years of your life and drive you to suicide hardly seems worth doing.”
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“Rule of life. If you bother to ask someone’s advice, then bother to listen to it.”
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“That’s not a bad word…hate and war are bad words, but fuck isn’t.”
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“I will never deny that life isn’t fair. It seems as though when a woman leaves a man she is strong and independent, but when a man leaves a woman he is a pig and a jerk.”
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“After a long, labored sigh, I said, “She was really happy when I got there. I’m pretty sure she was suicidal when I left.”“You do have that effect on people.”
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“I had a dream about you last night.. you were holding a pine cone and introducing him as Gerald.”
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“I’m not sure if there’s one right place I’m supposed to be, he said, but I know a couple of wrong places I’d give a second try in a heartbeat. ”
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“Life sucks, then you die. Then it sucks again. ”
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“…Life is much simpler if you don’t notice anything….”
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