All Quotes By Tag: Humor

“My powers of persuasion are only as strong as the bullshit I have to back it up.- Charley Davidson”

“But I was not in the band, because I suffer from the kind of tone deafness that is generally associated with actual deafness”

“Juliet’s version of cleanliness was next to godliness, which was to say it was erratic, past all understanding and was seldom seen.”

“Oh Blimey O‘Reilly’s pantyhose…what is the point of Shakespeare? I know he is a genius and so on, but he does rave on.What light doth through yonder window break?It’s the bloody moon, for God’s sake, Will, get a grip!!”

“Dear Teens at Starbucks wearing ‘Abstain from Sex 2 Attain Ur Goals’ t-shirts: Doesn’t it depend on what my goals are?”

“We only came close to dying six or seven times, which I thought was pretty good. Once, I lost my grip and found myself dangling by one hand from a ledge fifty feet above the rocky surf. But I found another handhold and kept climbing. A minute later Annabeth hit a slippery patch of moss and her foot slipped. Fortunately, she found something else to put it against. Unfortunately, that something was mt face.”Sorry,” she murmured.”S’okay,” I grunted, though I’d never really wanted to know what Annabeth’s sneaker tasted like.”

“Be you wise and never sad,You will get your lovely lad.Never serious be, nor true,And your wish will come to you–And if that makes you happy, kid,You’ll be the first it ever did.”

“If one thousand of you participate in the murder of one child, then one thousand of you are a thousand times guilty.”

“See? This is why I’m not religious. I couldn’t possibly keep my mouth shut long enough to get along with everyone else.”

“Roger, he has a chain saw,” I hissed. “I am not going to die in Kentucky!”

“See, you think I give a shit. Wrong. In fact, while you talk, I’m thinking; How can I give less of shit? That’s why I look interested.”

“There must be something wrong with those people who think Audrey Hepburn doesn’t perspire, hiccup or sneeze, because they know that’s not true. I n fact, I hiccup more than most.”

“No crime is a means to an end. No crime can be rationalized.”

“If one million of you give assent to the one thousand who participate in the murder of a child, then one million of you are a million times guilty.”

“Bethany blinked. “Did you just hit me?” she asked, disbelief coloring her every feature.Skylar raised both hands, palms outward. “I come in peace!””You do not come in peace. You hit me.””I hit in peace!”