Quotes By Author: stefan molyneux

“If you have people who treat you badly in your life, they will be a human shield against people who will treat you well. If that’s not true then we should apply it to marriage and start saying to woman who are being put down or beaten, “you gotta stay with him because he needs you and he has been your husband for 20 years for heaven sakes. You just have to work to love him more and so on.” This is the advice they gave to woman like 200 fucking years ago and it was abusive advice. I view the parent child relationship (This just not my made up perspective.) it is the least voluntary relationship. At least the woman who got married chose to get married. We don’t choose our parents. The highest standards of behavior are required for parents and no one else. There is no one else whose standards of behavior need be higher than parents and so often parents get away with the lowest possible standards of behavior with regards to their children.”

“Successful relationships are those relationships were conflicts are successfully resolved and in fact peoples intimacy, closeness, and love are enhanced through the resolution of conflicts. I have always become closer to my wife and to my friends when we have conflicts and work through them successfully because conflicts will always arise. They are an opportunity for intimacy, self-knowledge, and a greater connection.”

“Theres nothing more efficient than honesty and nothing more powerful than vulnerability because, vulnerability reveals everyone in your life who will abuse power immediately and almost irrevocably. Theres nothing weaker than hiding your vulnerability because, it means a refusal to stare at those who abuse power and see them for who they are which means they still have power and control over you. Nothing is stronger than vulnerability. Nothing more clarifying. Nothing is clearer than vulnerability, and if you hide who you are you are just making a tombstone of your everyday actions because you dont exist in hiding and you’re letting the past rob you. Exercise the power of vulnerability. When you are vulnerable you are signaling to your system that the past is over and done! That you’re no longer a victim! That you’re no longer trapped in a destructive and abusive environment! vulnerability means it’s over, it’s done. The war is over but, if you continue to use the same defenses that you had in the past all you’re telling your whole body is that the past is not over. Be vulnerable. Be honest. Be open and show your heart. That’s the best way of telling your heart that the tigers are no longer in the grass. I’m telling you, just take it for a spin. Vulnerability and openness will get you what you want in your life and hiding will only get you the feeling of being prey from here until the end of your life.”

“If the sound of happy children is grating on your ears, I don’t think it’s the children who need to be adjusted.”

“The greater the gap between self perception and reality, the more aggression is unleashed on those who point out the discrepancy.”

“I don’t think it is a good mental health practice to fantasize that you know the infinite thoughts of imaginary entities.”

“Asshole Proximity Disorder”

“I refuse to let the standards of evil people chip away at my capacity for integrity.”

“Those who make conversations impossible, make escalation inevitable.”

“Deep connection is the antidote to madness.”

“If you spend time with crazy and dangerous people, remember – their personalities are socially transmitted diseases; like water poured into a container, most of us eventually turn into – or remain – whoever we surround ourselves with. We can choose our tribe, but we cannot change that our tribe is our destiny.”

“Sanity is not about confrontation. It’s about filtering. Having a stable and happy life is about saying “no” to crazy people, not about inviting them in and then hoping that confrontations are going to make them sane.”

“To be yourself is in many ways to be inconvenient to others. Only placaters and appeasers get along with other people all the time and that’s not really getting along with anyone. That’s just self erasure.”

“The three most important words in a relationship are not, ‘I love you,’ but, ‘Tell me more.”

“Baseless victimhood is usually the last stage before outright aggression.”