“People who are not blessed with the ability to make others laugh compensate for that by saying (or trying to say) things that are profound.”

“To be a philosopher, just reverse everything you have ever been told…and have a sense of humor doing it.”

“My ship came in,then it sank!”

“Shut up…let me tell you, LET ME. Every time I look at your face or even remember it, it wrecks me. And the way you are with me and you’re just fun and you shit all over me and you make fun of me and you’re real. I don’t have enough time in any day to think about you enough…I don’t even think about women anymore. I think about you.”

“Fuck it… That’s really the attitude that keeps a family together, it’s not “we love each other”, it’s just “fuck it, man.”