All Quotes By Tag: Humour

“Going down in history is a dead end pursuit”

“No plaque reminds the passer-by of these glories, although there should be one; for those who invent biscuits bring great pleasure to many.”

“People who can change and change again are so much more reliable and happier than those who can’t”

“The British do not expect happiness. I had the impression, all the time that I lived there, that they do not want to be happy; they want to be right.”

“Okay, this is the wisdom. First, time spent on reconnaissanse is never wasted. Second, almost anything can be improved with the addition of bacon. And finally, there is no problem on Earth that can’t be ameliorated by a hot bath and a cup of tea.”

“Life would be tragic if it weren’t funny.”

“The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache.”

“Whoever thou art that, not content with a moderate condition, imaginest happiness in royal magnificence, and dreamest that command or riches can feed the appetite of novelty with perpetual gratifications, survey the Pyramids, and confess thy folly!”

“Words were insufficient for the elevation of his [Mr Collins’] feelings; and he was obliged to walk about the room, while Elizabeth tried to unite civility and truth in a few short sentences.”

“People throw stones at you and you convert them into milestones.”

“A good speech is like a miniskirt–long enough to over all the vital parts, short enough to entice and captivate listeners.”

“Unfortunately it’s also true to say that good management is a bit like oxygen – it’s invisible and you don’t notice its presence until it’s gone, and then you’re sorry.”

“The joke is generally in the oddest way the truth and yet not the fact.”

“Fat men take a cushion with them wherever they go.”

“Der Papst ist der einzige Konzern-Vize, der seinen Chef nie zu sehen bekommt. Nicht einmal bei der Weihnachtsfeier.”