All Quotes By Tag: Funny
“If you have the woman you love, what more do you need? Well, besides an alibi for the time of her husband’s murder. ”
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“A Penny Saved is a Penny Earned”
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“Huh,” Leo said. “Well, if you ever get off this island and want a job, let me know. You’re not a total klutz.”She smirked. “A job, eh?” Making things in your forge?””Nah, we could start our own shop,” Leo said, surprising himself. Starting a machine shop had always been one of his dreams, but he’d never told anyone about it. “Leo and Calypso’s Garage: Auto Repair and Mechanical Monsters.”
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“Last night I was seriously considering whether I was a bisexual or not but I don’t think so though I’m not sure if I’d like to be and argh I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that, if you like a person, you like the person, not their genitals.”
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“Whatever happened to the dragon?”I mustered my primmest tone. “He has a name, you know.”Adrian pulled back and gave me a curious look. “I didn’t know, actually. What’d you decide on?””Hopper.” When Adrian laughed, I added, “Best rabbit ever. He’d be proud to know his name is being passed on.””Yes, I’m sure he would. Did you name the Mustang too?””I think you mean the Ivashkinator.”He stared at me in wonder. “I told you I loved you, right?”Yes,” I assured him. “Many times.”
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“Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.”
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“And now,” Eric yelled into his mircophone, “we’re going to sing a new song-one we just wrote. This one’s for my girlfriend. We’ve been going out for three weeks, and, damn, our love is true. We’re gonna be together forever, baby. This one’s called ‘Bang You Like a Drum.”
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“I will never deny that life isn’t fair. It seems as though when a woman leaves a man she is strong and independent, but when a man leaves a woman he is a pig and a jerk.”
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“I had a dream about you last night.. you were holding a pine cone and introducing him as Gerald.”
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“I had a dream about you last night. The champagne was non-alcoholic. You didn’t notice, and laughed at my jokes anyway.”
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“It’s funny. No matter how hard you try, you can’t close your heart forever. And the minute you open it up, you never know what’s going to come in. But when it does, you just have to go for it! Because if you don’t, there’s not point in being here.”
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“To find out if she really loved me, I hooked her up to a lie detector. And just as I suspected, my machine was broken. ”
“I simply regard romantic comedies as a subgenre of sci-fi, in which the world created therein has different rules than my regular human world.”
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“I suppose it’s not a social norm, and not a manly thing to do — to feel, discuss feelings. So that’s what I’m giving the finger to. Social norms and stuff…what good are social norms, really? I think all they do is project a limited and harmful image of people. It thus impedes a broader social acceptance of what someone, or a group of people, might actually be like.”