All Quotes By Tag: Funny
“I had a dream about you. You were an escalator, and I was a flight of stairs. You thought I was a Luddite, and I thought I was as ostrich, because I hadn’t figured out how to put the fly in flight. One day you broke down, and then you saw that you and I weren’t so different after all.”
-
“I had a dream about you. We installed Dr. Robert Jarvik’s artificial heart in a mannequin and brought it to life, only to later kill it because a creature that’s all fake heart and no brain is what’s commonly called a “politician,” and must be destroyed. ”
-
“Maybe you could be mine / or maybe we’ll be entwined / aimless in this sexless foreplay.”
-
“Please, touch me, I pray.”
“Our love was a two-person game. At least until one of us died, and the other became a murderer. ”
“I’m a fake fact factory. The things I make are the things I make up. Also, as a side business, I make love. Actually, I just made that up.”
“My point is, life is about balance. The good and the bad. The highs and the lows. The pina and the colada.”
-
“If you can’t do anything about it, laugh like hell.”
“I love you. I hate you. I like you. I hate you. I love you. I think you’re stupid. I think you’re a loser. I think you’re wonderful. I want to be with you. I don’t want to be with you. I would never date you. I hate you. I love you…..I think the madness started the moment we met and you shook my hand. Did you have a disease or something?”
-
“A boo is a lot louder than a cheer.”
-
“My head’ll explode if I continue with this escapism.”
“When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back.”
-
“I can’t decide whether I’m a good girl wrapped up in a bad girl, or if I’m a bad girl wrapped up in a good girl. And that’s how I know I’m a woman!”
-
“Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.”
-
“V-Day…if you need this one day in a year to show everyone else you truly care for “your loved one” I think it’s quite stupid. I hate this commercialism. It’s all artificial, and has nothing to do with real love.”