All Quotes By Tag: Masturbation
“It was masturbation, not willpower, that made it possible for gazillions of women to walk down the aisle with their reputation and their hymen still intact.”
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“Some women have been faking orgasms for so long that they sometimes fake one when they are masturbating.”
“Some people masturbate to temporarily replace their partners when they are absent, whereas some people do that to temporarily live in the present.”
“Some women do not masturbate for pleasure; they masturbate to make a political statement: to remind us that women do not really need men (or at least not as much and as frequently as every single male chauvinist and every single misogynist believes).”
“Regard yourself as a small corporation of one. Take yourself off on team-building exercises (long walks). Hold a Christmas party every year at which you stand in the corner of your writing room, shouting very loudly to yourself while drinking a bottle of white wine. Then masturbate under the desk. The following day you will feel a deep and cohering sense of embarrassment.”
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“Twas the night before Thanksgiving. All the food’s in the oven. And I’m in the bedroom performin’ self lovin’.”
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