All Quotes By Tag: Comedy
“A lot of people come up here and they thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Jesus. He didn’t help me a bit. If it was up to him, Cesar Millan would be up here with that damn dog. So all I can say is, ‘suck it, Jesus! This award is my God now’!”
-
“And then to Leo’s surprise, Catherine smiled at him. A sweet, natural, brilliant smile, the first she had ever given him. Leo felt his chest tighten, and he went hot all over, as if some euphoric drug had gone straight to his nervous system.It felt like … happiness.He remembered happiness from a long time ago. He didn’t want to feel it. And yet the giddy warmth kept washing over him for no reason whatsoever.“Thank you,” Catherine said, the smile still hovering on her lips. “That is kind of you, my lord. But I will never dance with you.”Which, of course, made it the goal of Leo’s life.”
-
“Tsuyokini,honkiMutekini,sutekiGenki,yuuki!–Kusakabe Maron”
-
“Now, this is where I draw the line! It’s bad enough everybody in town’s going to be thinkin’ I’m sleeping with a depressed, lice-ridden, hemorrhoidal foreigner who likes to be tied up and might be pregnant, although-since she’s just about cornered the market on condoms-I don’t know how that could have happened. But I will not-you listen to me, Emma!-I absolutely will not have anybody thinkin’ a woman of mine needs a vaginal moisturizer, do you hear me?”
-
“I’m not aspiring to be someone else – If I’m me for the rest of my life then so be it”
-
“Where have all the Fembots gone?”
-
“She threw up her hands. “All right. Why not?” Why not?” Sure.” His arms fell to his sides. “That’s it? I pour my heart out. I love you so much I’ve got freakin’ tears in my eyes. And all I get in return is ‘Why not’?” What did you expect? Am I supposed to fall all over you just because you’ve finally come to your senses?” Would it be too much to ask?”…He’d begun to glare at her again, his eyes growing stormier by the minute.”When do you think you might be ready? To fall all over me, that is.”
“You are enough to drive a saint to madness or a king to his knees.”
-
“He shook his head. “The next time I hear a women going on about how neurotic men are, I’m going to remember this. You tell me you like my body, and what do I say? I say, thank you. Then I tell you I like yours and what do I hear? A long lists of grievances.”
“Come here, let me share a bit of wisdom with you.Have you given much thought to our mortal condition?Probably not. Why would you? Well, listen.All mortals owe a debt to death.There’s no one alivewho can say if he will be tomorrow.Our fate moves invisibly! A mystery.No one can teach it, no one can grasp it.Accept this! Cheer up! Have a drink!But don’t forget Aphrodite–that’s one sweet goddess.You can let the rest go. Am I making sense?I think so. How about a drink.Put on a garland. I’m surethe happy splash of wine will cure your mood.We’re all mortal you know. Think mortal.Because my theory is, there’s no such thing as life,it’s just catastrophe.”
-
“There is no greater power than that of a laugh and happiness is a force which can save a person from the horrors of the world.”
-
“They’re so broke that they’ve actually cut essential services. In many places, they’ve cut policemen, because, who the fuck needs them? Or firemen, son of a bitch, it’s much more fun watching something burn down.”
-
“You want me to pin my entire operation, the entire revolution on some teenaged love story? I can’t believe this.”
-
“To be a philosopher, just reverse everything you have ever been told…and have a sense of humor doing it.”
-
“Good man and bad man with money goes a long ways.” ~ Amunhotep El Bey”
-