All Quotes By Tag: Comedy

“Good man and bad man with money goes a long ways.” ~ Amunhotep El Bey”

“Miss Butterworth and the Mad Baron,” Sebastian said approvingly. “Excellent choice.”“You have read this?” Alexei asked.“It’s not as good as Miss Davenport and the Dark Marquis, of course, but worlds better than Miss Sainsbury and the Mysterious Colonel.”Harry found himself rendered speechless.“I’m reading Miss Truesdale and the Silent Gentleman right now.”“Silent?” Harry echoed.“There is a noticeable lack of dialogue,” Sebastian confirmed.”

“Some stories have to be written because no one would believe the absurdity of it all.”

“You know you’re a hot mess when the only person buying you drinks all night is yourself.”

“Don’t do anything stupid.””Don’t worry,” I whispered over the line, “I’m an expert on stupid.””You’re…””Like, I can spot stupidity, because I know it so well. The way an exterminator knows bugs really well, and can spot where they’ve been? I’m like that. A stupidinator.””Never say that word again,” Prof said.”

“If those at your top are weak, your bottom will be rotten”

“If you cannot find an element of Humour in something, your not taking it seriously enough.”

“My tendency to make up stories and lie compulsively for the sake of my own amusement takes up a good portion of my day and provides me with a peace of mind not easily attainable in this economic climate.”

“There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords.”

“The stalker, meanwhile, stepped into the road. Didn’t even check for traffic. There wasn’t any, but something told me this was lucky for traffic rather than the stalker.”

“Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.”

“Here is my final point. About drugs, about alcohol, about pornography and smoking and everything else. What business is it of yours what I do, read, buy, see, say, think, who I fuck, what I take into my body – as long as I do not harm another human being on this planet?”

“As soon as you have made a thought, laugh at it.”

“You think I’d cheat on you?” I demanded with all the innocent outrage I could muster.”With another guy, no. With a cheeseburger . . . in a heartbeat.”

“Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.”