“And thus the rushing waves of the sea touched her lovely feet and cleansed it’s sins.”

“He felt a little lost, after that experience. Lost as the girls on their knees. It was a never-ending story of young girls losing themselves, such that they were no longer humans with any souls or characters, but pretty girls with fat asses and nice tits.”

“Love doesn’t make the world go ’round; love is what makes the ride worthwhile.”

“On Religion – I compare the god of the Christian bible to a psychotic, jealous girlfriend. Who else but a crazy girlfriend would demand that a man mutilate his penis as a sign that he loves her? Who else but a crazy boyfriend would do it?!”

“Hey, look—your girlfriend is saying something.”Artemis had a vast mental reserve of scathing comebacks at his disposal, but none of them covered girlfriend insults. He wasn’t even sure if it was an insult. And if it was, who was being insulted? Him or the girl?”

“There comes a time in your life when you have to choose to turn the page, write another book or simply close it.”

“When in a relationship, a real man doesn’t make his woman jealous of others, he makes others jealous of his woman.”