All Quotes By Tag: Funny
“Why?’ He asked.’Why what?’ What could I say? Noah, despite you being an asshole, or maybe because of it, I’d like to rip off your clothes and have your babies. Don’t tell.”
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“I had a dream about you last night. We watched pornography together, but purely for the storyline.”
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“I had a dream about you last night. I could fly. I was going to use this power to impress you, but you were too heavy to carry, so I won you over with my personality instead”
“I had a dream about you last night. The best day of my life was when I taught you how to juggle, but the best day of yours was when you taught someone else.”
“I had a dream about you last night.. You were playing with chicken livers and told me everyone was in quarantine.”
“I had a dream about you last night.. you were trying to give coordinates to an apple”
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“You’ll blow up a helicopter, but you won’t go out with me? What is wrong with you?”
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“Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who’ll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you’re in the wrong house, that’s what it means.”
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“It is usually unbearably painful to read a book by an author who knows way less than you do, unless the book is a novel.”
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“You are more likely to find three TVs inside a randomly selected house than you are to find a single book that is or was not read to pass an exam, to please God, or to be a better cook.”
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“Many are they that rise up against you. Many there be which say of your soul, ‘’There is no help for you.’’ But the instruments of death is prepared for your cause.”
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“You have not escaped his notice either- you are here by ‘a call’ not by choice.”
“You are alone. But you seems not afraid- though you weary with your groaning; wandering far off in the wilderness and your eyes, consumed because of your grief; waxed old while you’re still young.”